Bubble Gum Gangster Association! 

 

 

FAMILY PROFILES 1 - 10

 

  BBGA PROFILE #01  

NAME:   "Gagootz"  a.k.a    "OFM"
PHONE: 1 800 OUTTYA FRIGGIN MIND
ADDRESS: Who Cares
RANK: Underboss to Fat Sal - Capo Di Whacko - Da Big Boss of Bubble Bum Gangster Association

OCCUPATION: Racketeering; Mouseketeerin; Computer Technician; Cabana Boy & WHATEVER ELSE I FEEL LIKE DOIN.

JOB DESCRIPTION: HANGIN OUT-DOIN THINGS

RAP SHEET: Murder; Loan Sharking; Littering; Not Using a Pooper Scooper; DOIN THINGS YA SHOULDN'T BE DOIN

HOBBIES: Chasin Skirts; Wearin Skirts; Chasin parked cars; Karate; Smakin whoevers in arms reach.

SKILLS: Taken Diapers off piss clams; Computer Technician; MAKEUP ARTIST-MAKIN YA DO THINGS YA DON'T WANNA DO.

 
  BBGA PROFILE #02  

 

NAME:  Crazy Joe "The Wizard"

RANK: Capo di Mamluke - Underboss to Gagootz

ADDRESS:  Brooklyn.  Here and There

PHONE: 1 800 WHERE'S MY FREAGIN MONEY

OCCUPATION: Hitman; Movie Critic; Toys R Us; Pet Detective; Shampoo Boy; Minnesota Vikings Male Cheerleader.

JOB DESCRIPTION:  Doin somethin' - maybe on a certain day

RAP SHEET: None of your freagin business.

HOBBIES: lookin' for Money;  Not Makin Money; losin' Money; never makin' Money

SKILLS: Rearranging dings, like peoples body parts

 

BBGA PROFILE #03

  

 

NAME: Philly D.  a.k.a  "THE VENDER"

RANK: Consigliere - South Joisey

ADDRESS: Wanna Be Motel - Long Branch NJ

PHONE: 1-900-GUMBALLS

OCCUPATION: Vendor of Bubble Gum Machines, Cigarettes, & Alcohol & Mary K Cosmetics.  AA & NA Counselor.

JOB DESCRIPTION: Re-locating individuals to proper designations (dead or alive).  Fixing State Permits. 

President of the Ru Paul Fan Club.

RAP SHEET: Bogus Contracting Bids.  Extortion - Stocking and reselling used dental floss in vending machines. 

Streaking at Gay Pride Parade.

HOBBIES: Fishing.  Gambling.  Collecting Bellybutton lint.

SKILLS: Absolutely None Whatsoever!

 

BBGA PROFILE #04

  

NAME: "BUTCH" a.k.a "HAPPY" a.k.a "LUMP LUMP"

PHONE: DISCONNECTED

ADDRESS: Evicted

RANK: Executive Chef to the Boss; Numbers Runner; Singer

OCCUPATION: Ex-Boxer; Bookmaker; Longshoremen

JOB DESCRIPTION: Doin’ nuttin’; Ballbreaker First Class; Health Food Advisor

RAP SHEET: Fightin’; fightin’ and more fightin’; Knockin out a cook for puttin' palm oil in his salad.

HOBBIES: Complainin’; Arguin’; Worryin’; Fightin’

SKILLS: Screamin’; Yellin’; Cursin’; Fightin’; Great Cook

IN MEMORY OF BUTCH (Click here to go to Memorial Website)

 
 

BBBGA PROFILE #05

  

NAME: DON CHEECH - MESSINA

PHONE: 1-800-WHACKEM

ADDRESS: Palermo; Sicily

RANK: Godfaaduh; Grandfaaduh; BIGGA Big Boss

OCCUPATION: Banker; Florist; Undertaker; Bikini Runway Model; DJ

JOB DESCRIPTION: Owner of WE WHACKEM - U SACKEM; Inc.

RAP SHEET: Tryin’ tuh speak English; Impersonatin’ an American; Kat-nappin

HOBBIES: Gardenin’; Playin’ Scopa; Savin’ $; Tryin’ tuh speak English

SKILLS: Sign Language Expert (Italian Dialect Only)

 

 

BBGA PROFILE #06

  

NAME:  "Joey Linguine" a.k.a "DUDE"

(Gagootz's little brother; he was on the lamb in FL and turned into a freagin surfer boy; but he's still family whatta ya gonna do?)

PHONE: 1 800-DUDE

ADDRESS: Believed to be somewhere in the Caribbean

RANK: Overseas Crew Boss

OCCUPATION: Beach bum and Small time petty thief; food connoisseur; Hawaiian Hula Dancer.

JOB DESCRIPTION: Doing broads, Surfing, eating peanut butter & jelly

RAP SHEET: Trespassing, loitering, DWI, indecent exposure

HOBBIES: Surfing, eating peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, surfing

SKILLS: Surfing, eating peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, surfing and occasional surfing. 

 

 

BBGA PROFILE #07

  

NAME: FRANKIE PINK a.k.a "HEAVY HANDS" aka "HEAVY"
PHONE: 1 800 - WRECKIN MACHINE
ADDRESS: GYMNASIUM
RANK:  CAPO DE STEROIDS
OCCUPATION: PHARMACIST; PRES. DECAPITATION INC; DOG GROOMER
JOB DESCRIPTION: BUSTIN UP JOINTS; SEPARATING THINGS; GAY MEN'S HEALTH ADVISOR 
RAP SHEET: MURDER; EXTORTION; ASSAULT; POSSESSION; BAD BREATHE
HOBBIES: WORKIN OUT-BOXING-MARTIAL ARTS- FLEA COLLECTOR
SKILLS:  SUPPLEMENTS EXPERT; BUBBLE BITER (bites other peoples fart bubbles in bath tub)

 

 

BBGA PROFILE #08

  

NAME: J.T., a.k.a "Cellar Dweller" a.k.a "Johnny Sticks"
PHONE: 1 800-FUHGEDABOUDIT
ADDRESS: A basement somewhere on 3rd Avenue in Brooklyn
RANK: Crew Boss - Red Hook
OCCUPATION: Sanitation, bodyguard, hairdresser, & babysitter
JOB DESCRIPTION: Doing dings in the basement, makin people disappear
RAP SHEET: Stealing hub caps off of moving school buses, streaking,
HOBBIES: Doing dings in his fathers basement
SKILLS: Awesome Drummer, doing dings in his fathers basement

 

BBGA PROFILE #09

  

NAME: Jimmy C., a.k.a "The Mick" a.k.a "Snails" aka "The Fisherman"
PHONE: 1 800-FISH
ADDRESS: Upper East Side, Massachusetts
RANK: Crew Boss - Fish Market
OCCUPATION: Union Delegate; deep-sea fishing; Operates a fish sandwich stand in front of his house on Saturdays;  alligator shoe salesmen; concrete contractor.
JOB DESCRIPTION: Racketeering, fishing, courier, underwater basket weaving, Inventor of Jimmy C's Fish Cologne; his add campaign slogan goes like this: "Try Jimmy C's Fish Cologne and you too will smell like you wanna be alone".
RAP SHEET: Smuggling McDonalds Fish Sandwiches between NY and Mass; Cape Cod Mental Ward: Says he saw a mermaid.
HOBBIES: Using stool pigeons as shark bait, making concrete shoes, having good clean fun,
SKILLS: fishing, fishing, bating hooks, master baiter

 
 

BBGA PROFILE #10

  

 

 

BBGA PROFILE #10

NAME: Joey The Nap. (Jimmy C's Big Brother), a.k.a "The Sleeper"
PHONE: 1 800-SNORE
ADDRESS: IRELAND (Fled Country due to arrest warrant for stealing Leif Garrets underwear).
RANK: Crew Boss - Dublin
OCCUPATION: Recording Engineer; Wire Tapping; Bomb specialist; Sound man for Leif Garrett/President of Fan Club.
JOB DESCRIPTION: Mixing Sound for Leif Garrett; blowin dings up; Coordinating Leif Garrett Fan Club Rallies.
RAP SHEET: Sleeping on the job, blowing up gym teacher, peeping tom (on Leif Garrett)
HOBBIES: Sleeping, taking naps, relaxing, collecting frequent flier miles and sleeping.
SKILLS: Sleeping, soundman, sleeping, blowing up udder dings, sleeping.

 
 

 

 

 

gomma da masticare

(bubblegum gangsters)

casa bella

(home)

 

la cosa nostra

(join the family)

 

farfallone

(rudy vaselino)

guestbook

(leave your comments)

Please don't forget to sign da guestbook or I'll give you a smack!

 

 

stupido

(mamaluke)


frankie pink's

weightloss drink

 

 

m.o.b. financial

(paulie gabagool)

 

 

 

 

 

 


 wmob

(bubblegum broadcasting)

 

 

 

Ooh!  Moron, contact me at: gagootz@bubblegumgangster.com