Bubble Gum Gangster Association! 

 

FAMILY PROFILES 11 - 20

 

 

  BBGA PROFILE #11  

NAME: Matty 9  a.k.a Brain-dead

RANK: Close Family Associate - He knows a guy who knows a guy who has a friend who's cousin is dating a girl who's neighbor went to school with a kid who's father worked for a diner where a soldier from the Cabadosta Family used to eat.

ADDRESS: Meat Packing Facility -Down South

PHONE: 1-800- THUMANS (AINT 4 HUMANS)

OCCUPATION: Slaughterhouse Manager; Distributor Relations.  Co-Founder: "McMADD" - (McD Mostly Always Drives Drunk).  President: Pee Wee Herman International Fan Club for boys.

Job Description: Mad Cow Disease Inspector (Click Here For Mad Cow Disease Diagnosis).

RAP SHEET: Driving While Intoxicated - DWI; Drinking While Intoxicated - DWI; Walking While Intoxicated - WWI

Intoxicated While Intoxicated - IWI; Conducting AA Meetings While Intoxicated - AAWI; Smuggling Oscar Myer Wieners between NY and VA.

HOBBIES: Pickin his nose in public; Pickin his friends nose in public; pillow fighting.

SKILLS: Hangin' out in the school yard; champion thumb wrestler (ranked 1499 out of 1500 members of the National Thumb Wrestlers Federation)  His only win came against Joey "No Thumbs" McCormick, who lost both his thumbs to Gagootz for not payin a vig.

 

  BBGA PROFILE #12  

NAME:  "The Butcher" aka "FA-BA"
PHONE: 1 800 I AM HUGE - IF BUSY TRY  1-800-SKIDMARKS
ADDRESS: The Borough of Brooklyn
RANK: Capo de Cold Cuts
OCCUPATION: Butcher; Bomb Specialist; Figure Skater; Twinkies Distributor; Bulimia Counselor.
JOB DESCRIPTION: Driving Boars Head Truck; Driving his Workers Crazy.
RAP SHEET: Eatin Twinkies at Weight Watchers, SHAKIN DOWN BOARSHEAD DRIVERS
HOBBIES: Hacking dings up, bunji jumpin naked
SKILLS: Sneakin Twinkies in Weight Watchers

 

  BBGA PROFILE #13  

 

NAME: “ROCK” a.k.a “ONE-EYE RAY IN L.A.”

PHONE: 1-911-BREAK-YA-FACE

ADDRESS: None a ya business

RANK: Capo De Misery

OCCUPATION: Binocular Salesman; Male Ballerina; Union Delegate; and other stuff that you don't wanna know about.

JOB DESCRIPTION: Connected! (AT&T); Union stuff; Doin’ dings

RAP SHEET: Yes (call for references)

HOBBIES: Breakin’ heads; Whackin’ guys out; Liftin’ weights; Spellin’ Bee; Boxin’ (Bananas on Pier 11); President of Richard Simmons Fan Club

SKILLS: Undetermined

  BBGA PROFILE #14  

PHOTO TO COME

NAME: “DERF”  a.k.a  “DERF”

PHONE: 1-666-SMACK-U

ADDRESS: Pier 11 = Redhook

RANK: Capo De Cushine

OCCUPATION: Hatch Boss; Stripper; Belly Dancer; Latrine Orderly

JOB DESCRIPTION: Inventory; Payroll; Shipping; Receiving; Not Receiving

RAP SHEET: Smugglin’; Pimpin’; Lap Dancin’ wit Non-Union Labor

HOBBIES: Tiddly Winks Champ; Smackin’ Mooks; Fightin’; Clubbin’

SKILLS: Ballroom dancin’; Stuffin’ ricotta into raviolis

 

  BBGA PROFILE #15  

NAME: “JOHNNY BOY”  a.k.a.  “PROFESSOR”

PHONE: 1-800-GRANDMASTER

ADDRESS: No……He Wears Pants.

RANK: Capo De Morte – Bodyguard to da President

OCCUPATION: Garbage Man; President of Fairy Fu Martial Arts

JOB DESCRIPTION: Protection; Protection; Protection

RAP SHEET: Assault; Aggravated Assault; Pre-Meditated Assault; Pre-Meditated Aggravated Assault; Assault Wit Intent To Commit Bodily Harm; Spontaneous Assault; Aggravated While Assaulting

HOBBIES: Martial Arts; Watchin’ Kung Fu movies; Eatin’ Chinese food; Chinese Checkers; Ballet

SKILLS: 12th Degree Pink Belt; Paint-By-Numbers

 

  BBGA PROFILE #16  

PHOTO TO COME

NAME: “JOHNNY G"  a.k.a  “THE BRAIN”

PHONE: 1-900-I’M-A-FRIGGIN-GENIUS

ADDRESS: The “Lab”

RANK: Capo De Musica

OCCUPATION: Musician; Babysitter; Secretary; Librarian

JOB DESCRIPTION: President of Partridge Family Fan Club; Changin’ Dirty Diapers; President of Archie Comic Books

RAP SHEET: Extortion; Loansharkin’; Jay Walkin’; Smokin’ In The Boys’ Room; Paddle Boardin’

HOBBIES: Surfin’; Playin’ music; Readin’; Thinkin’; Fartin’

SKILLS: Decomposin’ music; Playin’ bass; Negotiatin’ business

 
  BBGA PROFILE #17  

NAME: “CARMINE”  a.k.a  “THE BIG RAGU”

PHONE: 1-800-BACCALA

ADDRESS: The Dugout

RANK: Capo De Chinno

OCCUPATION: Pipefitter; Hand & Foot Model; President Barry Manilow Fan Club

JOB DESCRIPTION: Fixin’ Dings; Breakin’ Dings; Lookin’ For Dings

RAP SHEET: Narcotics; Disco Dancin’ In Mosh Pitt; Cross Dresser

HOBBIES: Partyin’; Dancin’; Softball; Playin’ Parhcese; gettin his cheeks waxed in the west village.

SKILLS: Manicures & Pedicures; Disassemblin’ Dings & People

 
  BBGA PROFILE #18  

PHOTO TO COME

NAME: “TUFF TONY”  a.k.a.  “THE BIG GUY”  a.k.a.  "GWOCK”

PHONE: 1-800-MUSCLEHEAD

ADDRESS: Brooklyn Schoolyard

RANK:  Capo De Neurotic

OCCUPATION: President of Destruction; Inc.; Ballerina; Bird Watcher; Neurologist

JOB DESCRIPTION: Crushin’ Dings; Destroyin’ Dings

RAP SHEET: Smugglin’; Gamblin’; Runway Model Impersonator

HOBBIES: Drinkin’ Beer; Basketball; Worryin’; Wonderin’; Workin’ Out

SKILLS: Boat Captain; Lingerie Designer; Tied With “Matty 9” For Exotic Beer Taster

 
  BBGA PROFILE #19  

NAME: “CB”  a.k.a.  "OFMCB” a.k.a  "Jerky Burkey"

PHONE: 1-800-WHERE-AM-I

ADDRESS: The Bowery NYC - Skid Row

RANK:  Soldier; Security

OCCUPATION: Retired N.Y.P.D.; Bartender; Opera Recording Artist; Dancer; Marriage Counselor

JOB DESCRIPTION: Drinkin’; Pickin’ Up Broads; Singin’; Dancin’

RAP SHEET: Indecent Exposure (skid marks on undawears); Singin’; Dancin’; DWI; DWI; DWI; Possession of Marijuana

HOBBIES: Drinkin’ Beer; Goin’ To Da Beach; Singin’ Beatles Tunes

SKILLS: Smokin’ Jays; Makin’ It Home While Unda Da Influence

 

  BBGA PROFILE #20  

PHOTO TO COME

NAME: “CATO”  a.k.a.  “CATO”                                                                          

PHONE: 1-888- I’M-A-MOOK

ADDRESS: Refrigerator Box on Venice Beach

RANK: Capo De Mamone

OCCUPATION: Stock Broker; Chairman of the Board; Rainbow Coalition

JOB DESCRIPTION: Makin’ $$; Stealin’ $$; Printin’ $$; Condom Salesman

RAP SHEET: Racketeerin’; Tax Evasion; Sexual Solicitation; Possession; Distribution of Exotic Narcotics

HOBBIES: Bitin’ Toenails In Public; Gaybashin’; Etch-a-Sketch Champ

SKILLS: Tattoo Artist; Magician; Hallucinatin’

 

 
 

 

 

gomma da masticare

(bubblegum gangsters)

casa bella

(home)

 

la cosa nostra

(join the family)

 

farfallone

(rudy vaselino)

guestbook

(leave your comments)

Please don't forget to sign da guestbook or I'll give you a smack!

 

 

stupido

(mamaluke)


frankie pink's

weightloss drink

 

 

m.o.b. financial

(paulie gabagool)

 

 

 

 

 

 


 wmob

(bubblegum broadcasting)

 

 

 

Ooh!  Moron, contact me at: gagootz@bubblegumgangster.com